Tuesday, January 24, 2006the play was so funny. go catch it. dman funny. vany is the funniest thing alive, she can just stand there for an hr and do those funny actions of hers and the whole theatre will laugh
anyway, im getting really emo these days, PMS, without a doubt. i sorta cried in class today cos i told mr sim i din wan to be a moniter and he said 'as far as im concerned, u dont have a choice' and dat, at the moment, really angered me, like whatever happened to human rights, haha dats excatly the reason why i didnt want to b part of our sch's system, cos its well, LIKE that.but i stopped after bout 2 mins, i was trying so hard not to, and the tears stayed in my eyes for like close to 10 mins, and i hate it when im on the verge of breaking down, ppl talk to me, like 'jaime, dont cry!' dat kinda stuff. and mr sim, i guessed, was kinda shocked and he tried pacifying me too, and thta made me broke down, but abt 5 drops only hahah cos its so stupid to cry over such stupid thing. sometimes, yr emotions will just get the better of you i guess.hahah bev all was suprised, cos they nvr seen me cry before,
hmm, i think the last time i cried in sch was sec 2, cos my dad just passed on that time, so u know.
but i was just so mad i cried, i was so embarrassed hahaha i must really learn not control my emotions. ahha ddamn the pms.
anyway
i really hope dat i will make my decison and hopefully teachers will accept it before the moniters' investiture. my decison not to b a moniter prompted ppl to say things like im not confident, im scared la dee da.i know compared to councillors' job, moniters job r easy. but the ultimate reason is bcos i dont want to b part of the sch system cos i dont like it, and all this while, i had been saying that, wouldnt it b contradicting myself if i accpeted the job? wouldnt it b ironic? wouldnt it b not being myself? i have to be a person that ppl want me to be. and i mean, u have to admit, some ppl who become councillors, house captains, etc, will somehow, in a way or another become someone they r not, its just that dey dont know it.cos ppl outside of them can see things clearer than they can.believe me, i have witnessed it.
so so there. i din wana be a moniter its because of that. not bcos i want to b cool with low belt all and cos im scared, countary of what mr sim said. and in case if mr sim, u happen to read this, i am not trying to scld u or whatsoever, but i really hope my final decision would b respected.and pls my frns, cut me all that moniter points shits k.cos i dont want reward.i do things cos i want to, not bcos of some shitty points
in my world,
in their world,
things r so different
in my world there are..
no wars, no bombs
no inhumanity
in my world there's so much love,
its so different from yrs
in their world,
its where money matters
they kill and they betray,
the ones they love
they fire those weapons,
to claim the power
and even when they hear those screams
the battle wont cease..
in my world,
in my world,
in my world,
in my world, there are..
so much of happy laughter
the pain and tears will go away,
in my world there's so much love,
its so different frm yrs,
its so diffrrent frm yrs,
come into my world...
come, save yourself.
here, the short story.
she stopped at her tracks and observed them. what do their faces say?
"i hurt someone today"
"today, i told jack he is ugly at his face, oh yes, im superficial, but what can you say? this world is just in this way and everyone is like this, so just live and deal with it."
she is shocked at this. how can he say that?why does he sees the superficial qualities of somebody? doesnt he understand that looks doesnt matter?
she looks on.
"today, i slpt with a man for his money, but i do not feel guilty. this world is materialistic, i just have to live with it. i will slp with a 100 man if i have to. if thats what i must do to get my hands on those cash and diamonds."
she is shocked at this. how could she say that? why does she ses the material things?cant she see anything besides those blingblings?
she looks on..
"today i betrayed my friend, so that i can be famous in sch. Jane is so much popular than i, so i spread nasy things abt her. and now no one likes her. well, thats what i gotta do, the society is like that."
she is shocked at this. how could she say that? is fame and power so important?
she gave up and stopped looking on and thought to herself,
"i hate this world, this society.its fulll of nasty things. so im leaving now, i do not want to see any more of this.suuperficial, materialistic and betrayal for fame, power and money.the lack of love here is terrible. im leaving...
"goodbye world..."